1 year and where it's brought me

It's been a year (and 4 days) since I started my first full-time job. Thankfully, I still have it. Thanks to the powers up above, at the corporate that is. A year and 4 days ago, I wasn't nervous about the prospect of my first job (not that I'm nervous even now). I wasn't having any nightmares about my boss-to-be or the kinda work I would be doing. I was pretty cool about it. In fact, the night before, I was busy watching Khosla Ka Ghosla till probably 3 or 4 am. The movie was so good I couldn't help stopping it mid-way. I looked at it as a good omen - a great movie preceding an important milestone in my life. You know how Hindus worship Lord Ganesh before embarking on a new venture? Something like that. Of course, in a very different, and most possibly incomprehensible, manner.

So what has transpired in this one year? How has Pratik Patel changed? Hmmm, where should we begin ....

- I've been to New York twice this year. The second time round, I fell so much in love with it that I dedicated my work-related password to my love for the city. Weird, but true (the truest things are always weird, no wonder we're so afraid to face it). But seriously - NY rocks !

- On last count, I have watched around 80 movies in a theater hall in the last year (I must have watched as many, if not more, on my computer). In the space of 10 days in March, I watched 19 movies at the Cleveland Film Festival - by the end of it, I had impressed myself. I never knew I could love cinema so much. I have even incorporated the terms 'film' and 'cinema' in my vocabulary - signs of a budding film buff. Now I'm excited at the prospect of learning how to make one.

- I never knew I could control my sleep as well as I have for the last year. I used to dread two things : sleeping early and waking up early. Now logically, in order to wake up early you have to sleep early - double whammy, right? .... Wrong! People who know my sleeping patterns know that the patterns can be very long. I proved them all wrong - I shocked the hell out of some! Heck, I proved myself wrong! I somehow managed to sleep at 1 am (some nights a little later) and get up by 7 am (some days a little later).

- I went to my first (rock?) concert. I knew only 2 of the 10 or so songs that they performed. But it was fun - I had a few beers. So when is Pink Floyd having their reunion concert?

- I've learned that I'm not cut out for this 9-to-5 routine. I've done it for a year and I'm already sick of it. I need the unplanned, the unpredictable; at times, I crave it. I need a sense of being unsettled in life, I feel restless without it.

- I've seen that people my age are moving on to bigger things in life now, or at least they have the big ideas in their head. Sometimes, I think I'm doing something wrong. But then, I'm so good at self-confidence that I tell me to be myself. Thank god for letting me be myself - amen to that ! :-)

- I've also failed to keep in touch with my close friends. It's not that they don't call; I don't return their calls. If you are reading this, I'm sorry.

- I've learnt that no amount of money is enough in life. If you have enough money for it, you will buy that new mp3 / video player, that Seinfeld box set, that book, that .....

Some of these don't even count as a form of change. Well ..... at least, it happened.

confessions of a(n irregular) blogger

No more. No more apologies. No more high-handedness. No more excuses. No this. And no that. And definitely, no more promises or resolutions to keep this blog thing a regular affair (I mean come on! Who am I kidding??!! )

So here I am.

Let me just delve into why this whole maintain-your-blog-regularly can be tough. I'm not trying to buy any sympathy here or defending myself (what do I need to defend myself for anyway??!!). I'm just .... trying to tell it like it is ...

Apparently, people who write go through this thing called writer's block, an inability to write , to take the idea further. Not that it applies to me; I'm hardly a writer. Yet, here I am, going through my own writer's block, a complete anti-thesis of it really. Imagine if you will, a horde of mad, over-obese idiots making a run for the last free McDonald's lunch hamper, strategically placed right across the entrance. They all try to get in at the same time. And eventually who gets through? ... No one. So that's the deal with me : I have tons of these starved, crazy, over-obese idiots in the form of ideas and opinions, just dying to be heard, dying to be expressed, dying to be let go off. But none of them are able to make it to this blog because they all want to get in at the same time .... This is just one of the reasons. God knows how many more there are!

In short, there's a whole lot of stuff to write about, but I'm just not able to get my lazy ass to it. I remind myself to update my blog and then I'm reminded of being myself, being lazy. It frustrates me no end. I mean, imagine that - my own laziness is frustrating me and I'm not doing anything about it ! It's right there, harrassing the wits out of me and I'm not doing a thing about it. Height of laziness.

I've had at least 3 other decent drafts that I saved over the last few months; I'll be posting them (When? I don't know). I just haven't had the conviction to finish it in one sitting. I mean, just take this entry for example. I started this one at w**k, at my of***e (yes, I fear Big Brother over there) and ended up finishing it two (make that three, no four) days later at home!

In a way, this blog resembles me in one way or another. This is me : lazy, unsatisfied with what-I-can-do-but-don't-do, irregular, unpredictable ..... instinctive maybe ... Oh well, whatever ... I've made it this far, so I'm happy.


Recommended movie (English) :

Eagle VS. Shark (http://www.eaglevsshark.net/ & http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-xVMkqaOUS0)

I saw this movie at the Cleveland Film Festival earlier this year. It was screened on the last day; usually, the good movies are saved for the last day of a film festival. So naturally, I was looking forward to it. Eagle Vs. Shark is a very different, weird comedy. It's about two rather confused people. Jarrod's aim in life is to get back at the fat kid who bullied him in high school. Lily's aim in life is to find a nice guy. More than anything else, it was fun just to listen to the Kiwi (Kiwii refers to New Zealand btw) accent - it's groooovaaay! You want to know something about the Kiwi accent? They pronounce the 'i' as 'e' - so 'puppy' becomes 'puppay'. 3 times 2? .... Sex (this is how their trans-Tasman rivals - the Aussies - love to tease the Kiwis) !

"... yeah ..."

Once in a while, TV will teach you something, inspire you to become someone new. Game shows inspire you to be more knowledgable : knowing that Smirnoff Vodka has 40% alcohol could save somebody's life. Reality TV inspires you to be real, a real good actor. But nonetheless, the point remains : they teach, they inspire. It's ironic that Seinfeld, the best comedy series ever created, inspired me to be .... (I want to say) ... a rebel. By the looks of it, you won't believe me. So I'll say anti-social - believe it or not, it's a more socially acceptable term (this has nothing to do with not socializing with people. I love having a drink, usually more than four, with friends). But sometimes it's not as easy as portrayed on that little TV screen. Because when push comes to shove, you can expose yourself to some serious embarrassment, not to mention fighting a lone battle.

(Jerry Seinfeld & Co. are off to attend a dinner party)

ELAINE: Maybe we should stop off on the way and get a bottle of wine or something.
GEORGE: What for?
ELAINE: These people invited us for dinner. We have to bring something.
GEORGE: Why?
ELAINE: Because it's rude, otherwise.
GEORGE: You mean just going there because I'm invited, that's rude?
ELAINE: Yeah.
GEORGE: So you're telling me instead of being happy to see me they're going to be upset because I didn't bring anything. You see what I'm saying?
JERRY: The fabric of society is very complex George.

I love this Seinfeld episode (I love pretty much every single one of them!). But I will always remember Jerry's profound statement about the current society we live in - it is very complex. Here's a social riddle : if someone died on their birthday, would you sing the "happy birthday" song at their funeral?? (let's override technicalities like having a funeral a few days after the person dies. And anyways, in the future, funerals will take place moments after the last breath. People won't have that much time to spare.)

So anyways, Seinfeld made me think about social rules; it made me conscious about them. While people around me were busy focusing on their academics and career, these were the dillemmas I was going through. You're right, I was crazy. On the surface, everything looked normal. But let me tell you a secret about us crazy people : we are adept at acting normal.

During such a phase, I went through a personal pop quiz of social rules endurance. I will not mention names here - you know who you are. I was about to go out for dinner with my friends. On that particular day, one of my friends' sister was visiting for the Thanksgiving weekend. So before leaving for the restaurant, we are formally introduced. This is all happening while I'm putting on my shoes. I say hi and smile and she does the same, except she says "nice to meet you." Blackout. Everything around me disappears into a blur. Voices in my head. "Be a good boy and just say''nice to meet you too'" I opt for ignorance, look down and (re-)tie my shoelaces. There was silence, I could clearly hear it. "Ummmmm ...... she said 'nice to meet you'", points out my friend. Damn! Now I have to say something. Those voices again. "Nice to meet you too." And then, with as much as nonchalance as I could muster, I blurt out "... yeah ...", and add in a nod or two for good effect.

"... yeah ..."???? Yeah what?
A) Yeah, it's nice to meet me?
B) Yeah, I heard you?
C) Yeah, we're getting late?
D) Yeah, Happy Thanksgiving?
E) Yeah, I have nothing else to say?

The answer : F) All of the above. F is also for "failed". Moral of the story : when in doubt, say "... yeah ..."; it's a sure-shot way of getting yourself into trouble.

So why didn't you just pick the easy option and say "nice to meet you too" and get it all done with?? You know what? I'm sick and tired of saying it if I don't mean it. This doesn't mean it wasn't nice to meet her, but it doesn't quite qualify for 'nice' either (let's give the word the respect it deserves). And there's nothing wrong with it. Most first encounters aren't special (if you can manage to find something amusing about every person you meet for the first time, all the power to you). When you really get to know the person better, then you can truly say "nice to meet you" (or not!) because then you'll mean it and not say it because it's the most 'appropriate' reply. On second thoughts, Jerry, it's not so complex really. But we lead such simple lives that we can't bear to have it so easy.

Until next time, ...... "... yeah ..."

P.S. I'm not able to recall if I really said "... yeah ...". But who cares? It makes for a great story! :)

excerpts from "A Man without a Country" - II

I'm still working on some older blog entries that I was supposed to finish. So in the meanwhile, it's back to excerpts from "A Man without a Country". By the end of this excerpt series, you'll probably have read the whole book, or atleast the best parts!!

I am, of course, notoriously hooked on cigarettes. I keep hoping the things will kill me. A fire at one end and a fool at the other.

And my car back then was powered, as are almost all means of transportation and other machinery today, and electric power plants and furnaces, by the most abused, addictive, and destructive drugs of all : fossil fuels. . . When you got here, even when I got here, the industrialized world was hopelessly hooked on fossil fuels, and very soon now there won't be any left. Cold turkey. . . Can I tell you the truth? I mean this isn't the TV news is it? Here's what I think the truth is: We are all addicts of fossil fuels in a state of denial. And like so many addicts about to face a cold turkey, our leaders are now committing violent crimes to get what little is left of what we're hooked on.

Our close cousins the gorillas and orangs and chimps and gibbon apes have gotten along just fine all this time while eating raw vegetable matter, whereas we not only prepare hot meals but have now all but destroyed this once salubrious planet as a life-support system in fewer than two hundred years, mainly by making thermodyanimic whoopee with fossil fuels. The Englishman Michael Faraday built the first electric generator only a hundred and seventy-two years ago (this was written in 2005). The German Karl Benz built the first automobile powered by an internal combustion engine only a hundred and nineteen years ago. The first oil well in the USA, now a dry hole, was drilled in Titusville, Pennsylvania, by Edwin L. Drake only a hundred and forty-five years ago. The American Wright brothers, of course, built and flew the first airplane only a hundred and one years ago. It was powered by gasoline. . . You want to talk about irrestible whoopee? A booby trap. Fossil fuels, so easily set alight! Yes, and we are presently touching off nearly the very last whiffs and drops and chunks of them. All lights are about to go out. No more electricity. All forms of transportation are about to stop, and the planet Earth will soon have a crust of skulls and bones and dead machinery. And nobody can do a thing about it. It's too late in the game. Don't spoil the party, but here the truth: We have squandered our planet's resources, including air and water, as though there were no tomorrow, so now there isn't going to be one.

I know what women want: a whole lot of people to talk to. What do they want to talk about? They want to talk about everything. What do men want? They want a lot of pals, and they wish people wouldn't get so mad at them. Why are so many people getting divorced today? It's because most of us don't have extended families anymore. It used to be that when a man and a woman got married, the bride got a lot more people to talk to about everything. The groom got a lot more pals to tell dumb jokes to. But most of us, if we get married nowadays, are just one more person for the other person. The groom gets one more pal, but it's a woman. The woman gets one more person to talk to about everything, but it's a man. When a couple has an argument nowadays, they may think it's about money or power or sex or how to raise the kids or whatever. What they're really saying to each other, though without realizing it, is this: "You are not enough people!" A husband, a wife and some kids is not a family. It's a terribly vulnerable survival unit. . . I sure wish I could wave a wand, and give every one of you an extended family. Now, you take George and Laura Bush, who imagine themselves as a brave, clean-cut little couple. They are surrounded by an enormous extended family, what we should all have - I mean judges, senators, newspaper editors, lawyers and bankers. They are not alone. That they are members of an extended family is one reason they are so comfortable. And I would really, over the long run, hope America would find some way to provide all of our citizens with extended families - a large group of people they could call on for help.

© Kurt Vonnegut

:)

Present > Past

Sachin Tendulkar's go-slow in the 2nd innings of the 3rd test spoke more of his stark present than his illustrious past. Numerous analysts blamed him for the loss, none defended his approach to batting. We all know how his performances infect the team. On that particular day, the team caught hold of his virus. I did not watch the inning, but I only had to picture it in my mind. Watching Tendulkar 'accumulate' runs in the past few seasons is a common, albeit frustrating, sight. A batsman who can't stretch enough to touch the pinnacle of his capabilities appears confused, both as batsman and team player, and half-hearted in his efforts. International sportsmen often encounter mid-career crises, when the fight between phasing out as a has-been and pushing on for greatness reaches its climax. But for Tendulkar to go through such a phase near the end of his career spells more cause for concern than is visible on the surface.

Tendulkar will be 34 in April, his 18th year in international cricket. Statistically, he has achieved all batting greatness there is. But the real story doesn't match that greatness, it speaks of something unaccomplished, incomplete. He must decide what he wants to do with the rest of his career, how he wants to sign off. And needs to do it now.

There seems little reason to Tendulkar playing the role of the anchor batsman. As has been suggested by analysts and cricket enthusiasts over and over again, he must play his natural game, unless it means 'accumulating' runs. Greg Chappell and Rahul Dravid seem to posses enough cricket brain and guts to let such a suggestion pass; they might even have offered the role to Tendulkar. There are others in the team who can fill in for that role. He needs to let go of his expectations, let go of his past achievements, let go of himself. Go out on that pitch and just bat!

There is work to be done, Mr. Tendulkar. A career to be replenished.

The name is Pratik

I don't know why I'm doing this. I have to be crazy, which funnily enough I am, and very stupid, which again I could be. All those who know me are aware that I hate being called any name that is not Pratik (yes, this includes Jack, don't ask why, sometimes, it really ticks me off) And yet here I am, about to give you a pretty comprehensive list of all the names I've been called. Relax, don't get excited. This definitely doesn't mean you can pick out a name from the list and use one of them on me next time. Of course, this doesn't mean you start calling me Pratik, just because it annoys me sometimes (you'd probably laugh your ass off calling me Pratik, and I'll laugh my ass off in return) Stick to the old name. Just don't give me any more nicknames!! .... Bas ho gaya yaar ab ... :)

I have a lot of nicknames, no exaggeration. My (exaggerated) theory is that if I had my back to all the people I know and they called out my name, I could recognize who it was just by the name they use to call me (you can look at it two ways : either I don't know enough people or I have too many nicknames).

I know, I know - you all are probably wondering why is this guy so expasperated over his nicknames and will evetually quote Shakespeare : "What's in a name?" (some of you probably don't even know that it's Shakespeare, shame on you guys!!) It's a pain living a life of multiple nicknames. It's come to a point where nobody knows who Pratik is. Take the following phone conversation for example :

Caller : Hello.
Pratik : Hello.
Caller : Who is this?
Pratik : Pratik.
Caller : Kaun?
Pratik : Pratik!!
Caller : Pratik? .... Kaun Pratik?
Pratik : ........... Abbe, Jack bol raha hoon!!!
Caller : Toh aisa bol naa!

Precursory warning : Do not apply reason to any of the following nicknames. Just take it on face value, or word value rather.

• Pratik (or simply Patel) - this is the best one!
  
• Patrick - pretty obvious why
  
• Jack (the most popular one, variations : Jackkkkkk - ek dum intensity ke saath, Jackie, Whacko Jacko) - "Why Jack?" If I had a dollar for every instance I've had to (reluctantly) answer that one. So here's the story : Once upon a time, a few desi Florida Tech freshmen became friends. As happens with a group of people who start hanging out with each other, they started having nicknames for each other. The first person to get a nickname was Manoj, a Tamil guy from Singapore. Now, Arjun derived a nickname for Manoj : Daaku; he probably thought Manoj looked like one (FYI, I didn't think he looked like one) Up until then, I was the only one who wasn't christened with a nickname. Now, Daaku didn't like the attention he was getting (that's what I think - but hey, I'm the one telling the story here, so that's the way it's going to be :D), so he had to divert it towards someone else. Enter yours truly. So on a sunny day with clear, blue skies, he calls me Jack in front of the whole gang. "Huh? What?" Now, Manoj saw a movie called Aa Ab Laut Chale and he was amazed by this one character. The character is a Gujju NYC cop. He is Jaikishan Patel by night and (lo and behold) Jack Patel by day. So I was named after a lame character in a pathetic Bollywood movie. I hate that movie!! You know what, nobody remembers who Daaku was, but Jack ....
  
• McDD (or MDD) - amusing to the inventor because it rhymes with JackDD
  
• Jake the Snake (or simply Jake, some people don't like it so they use Snake!!) - named after the famous WWF wrestler Jake the Snake Roberts
  
• JackBuster (or just Buster, which is annoying to no limit) - derived from BlockBuster, the movie rental store (if 200 people wanted to watch 200 different movies, on their own, the same night, then I could probably open my own BlockBuster, I mean JackBuster)
  
• Jackpa Tel (rhymes with AlcaTel - btw, you're 'supposed' to say it simultaneously : Jackpa (pause) Tel (pause) Alca (pause) Tel) - don't ask why because even I don't know
  
• Jack Black Quack Quack (or just Quack Quack - One crazy idiot has left me voicemail messages that consisted of just two words : quack, quack. If this isn't ridiculous, then what is?) - again, do not ask
  
• JP of TPI - Jack Patel of a certain industry. Let's just say a friend wanted to use my brand name (quite literally!!) for business purposes. I will say no more.
  
• Black Jack - apparently, I'm black!! :)
  
• PDD
  
• KK Patel - named after the not-so-famous Kitchen King Masala, apparently I cook well
  
• Hanuman Patel - devised when I had swollen lips due to a cricket pitch mishap. In times of such an injury, you treat the guy with an ice pack. What did I get treated with? An ice pack .... and yet another nickname!!
  
• Put-put Patel
  
• Pumping Patel - What was I doing at that point of time? Filling in air in my bike's deflated tyres. I probably reached such a stage wherein I didn't have to do anything to get a nickname, it just happened ... just like that.
  
• Nanak Patel - I will not delve into this one, horrendously ridiculous!! (Saurabh, you bastard ... :D)
  
• PJP (Pratik Jack Patel) - amusing to the inventor because it rhymes with BJP
  

So there you have it, stupidity, franchise outlets, animals and even religious figures!! You've heard of 'master of all trades'? Now you know who I am .....

I've probably missed some, for good reason of course. For e.g. I didn't reveal my first nickname, the nickname my parents gave me. None of you, except my sister, know that one (and you better keep it that way). I'm one nickname lesser. Phew!


P.S. This isn't official, but my New Year resolution is to update my blog more frequently, a lot more frequently since I have more free time on hand. If I live upto it, it's official, or else ...... you've been warned about how lazy I can be.

excerpts from "A Man without a Country" - I

Lately, I've taken a great interest in reading books. And by chance, I've stumbled upon some very interesting books.

The following are some excerpts from "A Man without a Country" by Kurt Vonnegut. This is part 1 of I-don't-know-how-many. It's no special book honestly. And I don't think you can categorize it to any genre even; for some odd reason, Barnes & Noble had it in the Media/Journalism section. The only section it probably belongs in is Nothingness. But in today's world, nobody values nothingness. It's a pity ...

I used to laugh my head off at Laurel and Hardy. There is terrible tragedy there somehow. These men are too sweet to survive in this world and are in terrible danger all the time. They could be so easily killed.

True enough, there are such things as laughless jokes, what Freud called gallows humor. There are real-life situations so hopeless that no relief is imaginable. . . While we were being bombed in Dresden, sitting in a cellar with our arms over our heads in case the ceiling fell, one soldier said as though he were a duchess in a mansion on a cold and rainy night, "I wonder what the poor people are doing tonight." Nobody laughed, but we were still all glad he said it. At least we were still alive! He proved it.

Do you realize that all great literature are all about what a bummer it is to be a human being? (Isn't it such a relief to have somebody say that?)

Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

And I realize some of you may be having trouble deciding whether I am kidding or not. So from now on I will tell you when I'm kidding. For instance, join the National Guard or the Marines and teach democracy. I'm kidding. We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I'm kidding. If you want to really hurt your parents, and you don't have the nerve to be gay, the least you can do is go into the arts. I'm not kidding.

The arts are not a way to make a living. They are a very human way of making life more bearable. Practicing an art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow, for heaven's sake. Sing in the shower. Dance to the radio. Tell stories. Write a poem to a friend, even a lousy poem. Do it as well as you possibly can. You will get an enormous reward. You will have created something.

. . . there's a reason we recognize Hamlet as a masterpiece: it's that Shakespeare told us the truth, and people so rarely tell us the truth. The truth is, we know so little about life, we don't really know what the good news is and what the bad news is. And if I die - God forbid - I would like to go to heaven to ask somebody in charge up there, "Hey, what was the good news and what was the bad news?"

. . . I am going to sue the Brown & Williamson Tobacco Company, manufacturers of Pall Mall cigarettes, for a billion bucks! Starting when I was only twelve years old, I have never chain-smoked anything but unfiltered Pall Malls. And for many years now, right on the package, Brown and Williamson have promised to kill me. But I am now eighty-two. Thanks a lot, you dirty rats. The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon. Our government's got a war on drugs. That's certainly a lot better than no drugs at all. That's what was said about prohibition. Do you realize that from 1919 to 1933 it was absolutely against the law to manufacture, transport, or sell alcoholic beverages, and the Indiana newspaper humorist Ken Hubbard said, "Prohibition is better than no liquor at all." But get this: The two most widely abused and addictive and destructive of all substances are both perfectly legal.

© Kurt Vonnegut

naayn ilayvun

Nine-11


9-Eleven


911


0911


9/11


I don't know what I'm trying to get at. Somehow, it seemed a little more relevant when I first thought this through.

Think 9/11 and all that comes to mind is an airplane and two very-tall buildings. It's virtually inevitable to dissociate the two concepts. It's intriguing how two (almost random) numbers can create this ghastly image. It's just two numbers - nine and eleven. Nothing too complicated. 9 ... 10 ... 11....

I'll tell you a little story (even though I'm not good at telling stories). Yesterday, I was filling out some forms and as usual, there is the customary date field. Very nonchalantly, I write down "9/11/2006". And then it happened. It never dawned on me until then that it was 9/11. The 9/11. I honestly feel I could've gone through the whole day not thinking about 9/11 if I hadn't filled out that date field. Partly because I have the tendency to go through an entire day without thinking of the date. And partly because I consciously tell myself not to make a big deal about 9/11. But no matter how hard I try, I cannot erase that image from my mind. And I know I don't speak for myself here.

The media doesn't help either. CNN.com featured a "9/11 : As it happened" on their home page which is direct footage of the CNN broadcast (2 videos totalling 3 hours) on 9/11/2001, as it happened! MSN.com featured six stories of people who were directly affected by the 9/11 attacks and 'the 9/11 photo you didn't see' (Yes, there is only one more you need to see. After seeing this photo, you're all set - you'll have seen all the photos of the WTC towers blowing up. The complete set!) I didn't watch TV but I'm sure no news program missed out on the 9/11 bit. 9/11 was the flavor of the day. Amidst such circumstances, we are to cure ourselves of the '9/11 syndrome,' erase the horrific incidents of that day ..... hmmmph Now this might sound a little out there but my hunch is that 9/11 is soon going to be a brand name. We'll be seeing it everywhere. 9/11 fashionwear. 9/11 chocolates. 9/11 condoms. 9/11 potato chips. 9/11 this. 9/11 that. Cruel no?

sleep sweet sleep

Silly exercise : try saying "sleep sweet sleep sleep sweet sleep sleep sweet sleep" (etc.) as fast as possible - sleepsweetsleepsleepslipswipsiplipwiplspwsp - blllblblbllblbllblblbllblblbllllllllllllllllllll

OKkkkkkkk ..... that was very stupid ... if I were you, I wouldn't have done that. Why would you do such a thing? Shame on you for giving it a shot! .... that was kinda fun :)

Ok, I'm a little sleepy actually and I tend to do weird(-er) stuff under a sleepy spell. Ever feel so sleepy that you feel like a zombie? (No, I'm not that sleepy at this point of time) I've been zombie numerous times. It's weird how sleepiness can spur such actions. I know of a friend (you know who you are) who feels tipsy under the influence of excess lethargy - no kidding! Imagine - "Hmm ... feel like getting tipsy. Oh well, I'll just keep myself awake for a few more hours." Think about the amount of money you could save on getting tipsy or buzzed. Brilliant, I say.

My point is that .... forget about it, it doesn't even deserve to be a point! I've been sleepy all day and I've had some funny moments. Fell asleep while reading at Barnes & Noble, must've made a complete fool out of myself! The realization of a book on your face in that pre-conscious phase is indescribable :P Well, I've had my share of laughs watching other people dozing off in public.

P.S. I'm not that sleepy also ... I mean, I wrote up a whole blog entry ...


Recommended Song (Hindi) : Huzoor is kadar bhi naa itraake chaliye (Masoom) - http://www.raaga.com/channels/hindi/movie/H000275.html

Was just browsing about the Gulzar (I told you he'd make another appearance in this feature)folder after a long time, and stumbled upon another one of his classics. Of course, a classic movie as well.

koi manchala gar pakadlega aanchal
zarah sochiye aap kya kijiyega
laga de agar badhke zulfon mein kaliyaan
toh kya apni zulfein jhatak dijiyega

badi dil nasheen hai hasi ki yeh ladiyaan
yeh moti magar yun naa bikhraya kijiye
udaake naa le jaaye jhonka hawa ka
lachakta badan yun naa lehraya kijiye

(and my favorite stanza)
bahut khoobsurat hai har baat lekin
agar dil bhi hota toh kya baat hoti
likhi jaati phir daastaan-e-mohabbat
ek afsaane jaisi mulaqat hoti

a gift, a curse

I went missing again, didn't I? I gotta stop these disappearing acts ... this is not good for my loyal blog readers ... OK who am I kidding! :) It's not like I haven't had anything to write about. I just got stuck up on this one thought and couldn't quite figure out how to go about it (psst : "this guy thinks he's writing a big-ass novel or something. it's a bloody blog, so cut the crap and get to the point!")

I have stopped watching TV in the last few years (I catch hold of the odd comedy show on TV and l download some Indian comedy shows). But I just cannot bear the news channels and so-called 'History' channels that show documentaries about the 'truth' (agreed that documentaries generally show only one side of a story, but they can do without the dramatization). There is no dirth of TV channels in the US; and it seems the same applies for Indian television in the recent past.

The great Jerry Seinfeld sums it all up in a statement of amusement : It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. The same is the case with TV news, that everything happening in this world just exactly fits the 30-minute or 1-hour time slot. For once, I'd like to see a half-blank page in a newspaper, just a whole block of white space. I'll even frame it and keep it as a souvenir! For once, I'd like to see the news show which ends early because there's nothing new to report. A news show which has no headlines because on that day, the world was a normal place .............. Wait a second ... this is too much to ask, isn't it?

My disgust is not directed entirely at the news show itself; I have it reserved equally for the makers and the viewers of the show. Last I heard, news was supposed to be a medium for information and important happenings, not a f***ing tabloid. So why are the people behind the show willing to telecast such news-drama? Or is the education system to blame because it might encourage them to cater to the corporate needs? Is it a forgivable offence if they do it to feed themselves and their families? And why are the viewers willing to watch such crap? Is it the education system's responsibility to enlighten them about what the media thinks of them? Worse yet, if they know it is crap and unworthy of television, will they stop watching it or will they continue watching it in the name of 'entertainment'? ............... Questions, questions, questions .... and not a single answer .... (if you have an answer, please enlighten me)

So the title of this blog entry is 'a gift, a curse' - what's all this leading to, you ask. This is going to require a lot of courage on my behalf because I'm not capable of something so cheesy ... but if I've come this far, and I might as well. So here goes .... A great man once told Spiderman that "with great power, comes great responsibility." This was his gift, his curse. The way I look at it is we all work (or will be working) at jobs which affect other people's lives. There are are two ways about it though : choosing to affect their lives in a positive manner or in a negative manner. Let's not undermine ourselves, I don't want to : we are all share-holders of power in our own way; it might be a very small, teeny part, but we're in it. I'm not willing to accept that what I do today is not going to affect somebody I don't know. Just like the people working for the media cannot ignore their responsibility to the people watching their 'production,' I cannot ignore the fact that my deeds are responsible for some part of an unknown entity's life. I am responsible.

(phew ... I don't know if all that made sense ... you're free to comment)

The following is a link to a post-match analysis of an India-England test match (back in February I think). Expertise in cricket terminology is not required to understand the goings-on; note the tone and language used in the show. This was telecast on a major news channel in India. It's just a snippet of what the media is turning into.
Part I - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i5dyM8qa57g
Part II - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuqzdbS3ZvI

The following is a link to an interview of Aamir Khan, who appeared on a show called on India Questions. This one is also quite old, back in January. But worth a watch, nonetheless. Aamir Khan is one of the few 'celebrities' to speak out about the current state of the media. Is anybody listening?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5XBZtOJZ_U
http://www.bollywood.com/archives/2006/03/media_has_becom.html

koi bhi desh perfect nahin hota, use perfect banana padta hai

Consider this a (very) belated review of Rang De Basanti. This was originally submitted to Rediff as a reader review, but they didn't like it I guess. It's their loss. :) This is a modified version of the review I submitted :

There are two kinds of movies in this world : movies that are crap and movies you enjoy. On Saturday, January 28, 2006, I watched a third kind. You see, some movies are special. And RDB has a special characteristic that very few movies possess : it messes with your head. My friend who accompanied me to the movie was reminded of how The Matrix messed with his head, back in 1999. Mind you, it's no mean feat for a movie to mess with your head. I will not hunt through the thesaurus to look for alternatives of “terrific”. Rang De Basanti is actually too good to be worthy of praise, it’s simply good – that’s it!

After watching it for the first time, I just couldn’t get it out of my system. The whole concept amazed me to no end. Even now, my mind just boggles at the thought of the movie. At the thought of a particular scene depicting the camaraderie or serious discussions between the friends (“ik pair past mein, te ik pair future mein, tabhi toh hum aaj pe moot rahe hain”). At the thought of the ending, I mean what the hell was that!! It's haunting me in an indescribable manner; I’m not sure if I want to be inspired by the movie or heap praise over the way it’s been made. Cricket boggling the mind is still bearable and forgivable (e.g. dramatic results in the India VS. Pakistan ODI in Karachi, 2004 or the India VS. Australia Test in Kolkata, 2001). But for a movie to have such an effect on me was a first.

And now for a snippet of the current Bollywood situation. There’s no doubt that Bollywood is churning out loads and loads of crap these days. It’s become even more evident in the wake of competition in the recent years. That’s another thing I don’t understand. Competition is supposed to raise the standard of quality; things don’t quite work that way in Bollywood. The Bollywood industry provides its audience with all genres of movies. But what’s the point if the viewer is left to decide which the lesser of the pathetic crap is. It’s pretty much a lose-lose situation for the Indian movie-goer. RDB is a refreshing change, a world apart from the rest of contemporary Indian cinema. It’s commercial, and yet very meaningful.

Back to RDB then. And its most talked-about aspect : the ending. Should they have killed the Defense Minister, and more importantly, did all of them have to die at the end? (If you didn’t know this, then you haven’t watched the movie. Shame on you!! But it’s OK. I believe in forgiveness, and you can redeem yourself by buying tickets for the next show or even renting the DVD). Should they have killed the Defense Minister? It was probably a very drastic move, an extremist decision. I think it just signifies that circumstances are so pathetic in India right now that it requires such drastic measures to repair the system. But, according to my friend, there is a silver lining to people’s dislike for the ending. At least, there are people who realize that killing a minister might not be the right way to change the system, that there are non-violent and less drastic solutions to cleaning the system (you might want to check out Yuva which deals with a similar issue).

Of course, there are also aspects of RDB which are pretty flawless. I don’t think I’ve met anyone so far who hasn’t enjoyed the first half. The amazing thing is that all different aspects like the performances, music (including the superb background music – should be sold as a separate CD) and the dialogues seem to gel together perfectly.

I’m not sure if RDB has inspired me to do something about the Indian system or made me a more patriotic person. But it was one hell of a movie experience! And to all of you so-called Bollywood producers, directors, writers (etc. etc.) : kuchh seekho, picture aise banaate hain . . . .


Recommended song (Hindi) : Aa chal doob ke dekhe (Sunset Point)
http://www.raaga.com/channels/hindi/movie/V000168.html

Gulzar is probably the only lyricist who can pull this one off. He will definitely feature more often in my "recommended song" section in the future.

Aa chal doob ke dekhe
Ek do chaand se kude
. . . .
Arre, chal jebein bharle taaron se
Daane chhitkaate chalein
Arre, chal muffler pehenke baadal ke
Baarish barsaate chalein
Kuchh aisa karein jo hua nahin
Jo hua nahin woh karein

If you like this kinda music, check out the other songs of this album. Some are quite nice.

a pathetic fielding display

Cricket's a really crude game. You seriously don't know what's on offer on some days. Take the Florida Tech. team for instance. Now we are no professionals, and we have our days. But on the whole, we're a very inconsistent side; you never know how a particular player will perform on any given day. And so it happened today : a pathetic fielding performance, a really pathetic one by everybody in the team, save one. According to our captain, who btw loves to exaggerate, we dropped around 20 chances (I hope that includes the 'half-chances' or else that's just plain sad). And yours truly also dropped a few, one of them an absolute sitter. But I have no excuses : no sunlight factor, no "the ball was too far", no "the ball was too fast." And I didn't even want to analyze why I dropped those. All I can say is that sometimes when someone drops a catch in your team, it immediately puts pressure on the rest of them to take the next chance that comes their way. This is regardless of how tough the chance. And this pyschological factor really screws with the fielder's head. Before I dropped the sitter, the bowler's first cry was "atleast catch this one, man ... come on!" Talk about pressure! .... well no excuses ...

Recommended song (English) : Wonderwall by Oasis. It was one of the first few English songs that I liked. I didn't really understand what the lyrics meant, I just liked the music and the flow of the song I guess. Only recently, I realized that I didn't know what the word 'wonderwall' meant. It's a very weird word because even if you try and make sense out of 'wonder' and 'wall' put together, it doesn't ring any bells. And it turns out that 'wonderwall' isn't even a real word. According to the Oasis guitarist, the song's about an imaginary friend who's going to come and save you from yourself. Well, figure the lyrics out for yourself (http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=38&offset=0&page=1#comments).

I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now
. . . .
there are many things that I would like to say to you
but I don't know how
because maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me,
and after all, you're my wonderwall . . . .

soch ko aaraam dene se dard hoga :)

Haven't had the time to post an entry. Started writing one a few days back, but was too lazy to complete it.

In the meanwhile, check out this great Hindi poetry blog by Saurav Arya : http://www.aawaaj.blogspot.com/.

Awesome original poetry, check it out.

Thought for the day :
"Soch ko aaraam dene se dard hoga" . . . . Inspired from one of Saurav's poems.

Jaante ho dosto
dard dil me chupakar
kaise mai jeeta hu?
mai daudta hu
mai bhagta hu
aur fir so jaata hu
bas kabhi bhi rukta nahi
shayad mai jaanta hu
soch ko aaraam dene se dard hoga

To new beginnings

Ok. Let's ponder over this for a bit. Blogger since February 2005; all of three (3!) posts were written in February 2005. And all of zero (0!) posts since then. Hmmmm, I guess times flies.... You know, that's a pretty good excuse when you've been lazy. Well, at least I'm honest :) Sometimes, I'm too honest about my laziness, as if I'm very proud to be lazy. ... That's not a very good thing ... :) Don't worry, I'm not drunk. I'm just a little tired and too bored to go to sleep.

But seriously speaking, a lot has happened in the last year. The early part of last year was spent idling about the house and wasting my boredom on my PC. The most positive part of it was that I discovered a liking for writing. I even tried my hand at writing a short story (http://www.ndtv.com/ent/foodfictionstory.asp?id=824 & http://storymania.com/cgibin/sm2/smshowtitlebox.cgi?title=Stupidallicallidumbocious&category=shortstories&page=28). And it was fun, something I should be doing more of. Anyways, things really picked up in the latter half. For one, I got an internship, which kept me busy. I also realized that due to my idleness, I had landed myself in quite a terrible financial situation; I always had it at the back of my mind earlier but it was high time I did something about it. But apart from school work and the internship, I had a lot of fun and chilled out too (thanks to my friends :) ).

Hopefully, I won't be taking another year-long sabbatical after this post. I want to post more often on this blog. And I want to write more, even if it is about pointless things. People underestimate the pointless aspects of life. I'll elaborate in a later post.

Thought for the day : What lies before you and what lies behind you is nothing compared to what lies WITHIN you. Apparently, this is all it comes down to : finding what lies within you. It's something I must seriously think about. In fact, I have been thinking about it. I've come to such a point in life where I must take some decisions and work towards them. I should've encountered such a situation earlier. But oh well ... better late than never :) ... what lies within you .. it's a good thought ....

Valentine's Day ...? Let's get over it people ......

Today is Valentine's Day. Yup, the day supposedly dedicated to your loved one .... I've even heard somewhere that if you're not going to love him/her the rest of the year, it's all good. But you have to do it on February 14 .... (Ok, I didn't hear it anywhere. I made that up.)

Aaarrgghhh !! It's just so frustrating at times. I'm sorry to say so but I really don't believe in special days like this. Or in any special day for that matter. It's just not fair to discriminate one single day for some special occasion like dedications to your significant other, father, mother or even your birthday. It's just way too lame. We don't need reminders once in a year to give a thought to your father, mother or significant other. It's an insult to that person and relationship in fact. If we were really care about them, we'd think about them everybody and I'm sure we do. We don't need no special day to tell us when to remember them. It's probably just a marketing strategy for businesses to make some money. Sad, but true ......

Black .....

That's right ... today, I watched, apparently, the most awaited Bollywood movie of 2005 (according to www.indiafm.com), BLACK.

First of all, I wasn't very keen on watching the movie. But as it is with movies, if your friends are going, you gotta tag along !! The most surprising thing was when we entered the theater, the only people were my friends and me !! ..... Hmmmm ... The most awaited Bollywood movie of 2005 .... sahi hai !! :D ... A few more people (mostly comprising of Uncles and Aunties) joined us in the theater later.

Right from the start, I got the idea that this wasn't your usual Bollywood movie, which is good in a way ofcourse. I had read a lot on the Internet about how it was technically well made, after reading the interviews of the director, actors and cinematographer. But right from the start, you also know that it's going to be a slow movie.

The first half is good; it kept me interested. Special mention for the scene in which the little Michelle says "Maa" and "Paa" for the first time. It was very touching and the background music at that point would've left most people in tears. Hell, I almost cried in that scene ... !! I was smiling throughout the scene. Very good.

But the second half really drags. Especially the end when they focus on the romantic relationship between the teacher and the student (sorry, if you haven't watched the movie ... I might've given it away).

Ayesha Kapur, the kid who plays the role of the younger Michelle, has acted very well. As for Amitabh Bachchan and Rani Mukherji, I think they have overdone their parts. I think they overacted in most of Black. I agree the characters they are playing extraordinary and inspring, but I'd still like to feel that they are real. Their characters didn't seem to come through as real. I don't know ... it's just my small opinion. And it's not even like I don't like their movies. I love Deewar and I still feel "Main Azaad Hoon" is the Big B's best performance to date. And I liked Rani Mukherji's acting in Yuva as well.

Well, atleast the good part is I wasn't disappointed !! I didn't expect much from Black, and it lived up to my expectations ... !!

Chalo bhai ... bahut lamba ho raha hai ab !! :)

Recommended song (English) : Boulevard of broken dreams by Green Day. I'm not a big fan of rock music. But this really gives me the kick. The guitar in the song is just amazing and uplifting. And I think this song is already very popular on FM stations in the US. By the way, it is also one of the theme songs for Smallville, a popular TV show about Superman in his younger days.

my first blog ..

This is my first blog .... so I don't know what I'm going to talk about. This is typical me by the way : confused ... !! :) Whether it is describing myself, or selecting to what song to play next in Winamp, or just figuring out what I want to do in life. It's all very confusing, and I must say I'm very good at it !!

I think I'll do something different at the end of each blog post. I'll recommend a song and/or movie. I don't know why I'm doing this. I guess I realize that there are some songs and movies which not everybody has a chance to listen or watch; most people have not even heard about it. This is my way of 'marketing' it and making sure more people atleast know about it.

Recommended song (Hindi) : Bande from the movie Black Friday (2005). It's a very nice rock number performed by Indian Ocean. I'm really looking forward to the movie, but what to do : the Indian courts are not giving permission to release it.

Recommended movie (English) : Hamburg Cell (2004). This movie has not been released in theaters anywhere I think. It's an HBO production so I think they might show it on TV or something. It's about the terrorists who were directly responsible for the 9/11 events. The movie shows how they were trained and most importantly, how they are brainwashed into becoming extremist Muslims by organizations in Germany, where they are pursuing their college education.